looking back at my posts,, i realise ariel’s food picky start all the way back in year2009.. coming to 2 years nothing seen to pick up.. it addon my stress when adam come into the picture in my life.. i m afraid of failure again.. today i finally make the first move,, as adam show signs of hunger for solids.. and been having alot of saliva,, and he is more stable when seated on bumbo seat. pumpkin was add to the grocery list today.. done the puree and freeze it for further adam’s feeding and adding to ariel’s food.. 1 stone kills 2 birds.. adam= start from young.. ariel= reset,, and go back to square 1..

somehow what happen to me today,, did bring some sense to my ups and down.. partly the cause of my sleepless nite.. alway been packing my house but things just cant get it right.. alway have to reshuffle when something come into my life.. after ariel was born,, shift for maid then come along with uncle staying with us.. maid left,, reshuffle to let ariel sleep with us.. then reshuffle again to lett out the space room.. expecting adam,, reshuffle as hubby wori at my last trimster it will b hard for me to wake up from mattress on the floor. adam arrival, reshuffle again to fit all 4persons to sleep together.. then when all the unwell,, and disture nite to all 4 persons.. reshuffle the furniture again,, kids and me shift to the other room to ensure hubby to have a better rest and adam from waking up due to hubby’s movement. reshuffle the furniture again,, as the 2nd bedroom we sleep was like a study room cum toys room. so once again reshuffle it out to living room and hubby making his final decision to give up his fish that left out a big space.. now the house is messy with all those reshuffles.. with messy house,, messy feeling and routine, life is hard to pick up.. today the asian “jo frost”,, enlighten me with some tips that i can apply to the house keeping as well.. gonna make a plan and accomplish it.. looking forward to piece up the house,, so that i can focus on my parenthood..

the other mission is to also find some time to spend with my husband,, i realise we speak the difference “love langage”.. make life very hard to feel ease as our perspective are differences. by just saying things out in a general terms doesnt solve the problems. end up we jus give and take without knowing that what he say doesnt mean,, my understanding.. sometime love is blinds,, when u are madly in love not seen impossible.. when love start to be have commitment and responsiblities.. fingers start to point and point at all the shortcomes.. seen like wearing a long-dist specs,, everything seen so clear.. but when its too near,, its blur..

off to adam’s nite feed.. after pen down my thoughts,, burden seen to be release.. everyone’s perspective are different,, need to strike a balance in interaction..

Just nice.. too much or too less is not good.. ((phlisophy for the coming year..))

if only knots can be release.. things can be let go..

21oct 2011~ adam’s schedule 3rd mths that was taking only when he was reaching 4mths old, 1st 6-in 1, pnem jab and rotarvirus vac through oral. weight: 6.78kg height: 63cm head cir: 41cm in 50percentile range.

3oct2011~ seen doc due to stuffy nose and cough.

23sept2011~ miss his jab due to stuffy nose and cough. 3mths old weight: 6.4kg

21sept2011~ adam start to drooling ..

9sept2011~ discharge from kkh after 3days and 2nite stay to observe adam’s fever. range was 37.5- 38.2 (( as he appear to be letargise as mention by teacher in infantcare,, and cranky.. send him to hospital after receiving call from centre..))

22june2011~ arrival of adam boy @ 39weeks, normal delivery weight:2.99kg length 51cm

15june2011~mum weight: 60.3kg tummy cir:101cm 38weeks scan,, bb size: 2900gm

08june2011~mum weight: 59.2kg @ 37weeks n 3days scan,, bb size: 2700gm

20may2011~mum weight: 58.9kg tummy cir: 99cm 34weeks scan,, bb size: 2000gm

04may2011~mum weight: 56.1kg tummy cir: 98.5cm 32weeks scan,, bb size: 1800gm

04april2011~mum weight: 55.3kg tummy cir: 94cm 27weeks scan,, bb size: 1200gm

09march2011~mum weight: 53.4kg tummy cir: 91cm 24weeks scan,, bb size: 671gm

09feb2011~mum weight: 51.6kg 20weeks scan,, bb size: 330gm

05jan2011~mum weight: 49.8kg @ 15weeks n 3days

08dec2010~mum weight: 46.4kg

this will be the last post to mention on adam’s boy unwell.. got to really be strict to ariel’s diet and watch adam’s development. had nt been doing my part well over the years as a mummy,, alway give excuse to get over with the issue.

adam is unwell since 10nov,, he was having a cough and was breathless at nite on 09nov.. brought him to see doc the 1st thing on 10nov.. ariel gal as well.. ariel gal was having cough before adam caught it.. but thought it was not serious as its on off,, and as she doesnt eat well.. alway with heaty food and coke.. drink very little water and pricky on food only eat a few variety of food. so overlook her condition that lead to passing virus to adam boy.. ariel was also complaining about stomach pain that we thought she was avoiding her food n trying to seek our attention.

the diagonse was adam caught virus from sis ariel,, and was more serious due to small.. and as he was nueblise before,, PD remind me to be extra careful of adam boy. as for the stomach pain that ariel was complaining was actually constipation,, as she alway do have regular bowel movement but was hard so didnt know that hard stool also relate to constipation. brought the kids to PD again on 14nov as adam also develop flu,, so to get the ensure brought them back to PD.. and as was at the clinic also get the PD to check on ariel..

over these period from 10nov,, me n my husband also feel unwell.. finally we went to see doc on 21nov.. i try self- med but didnt work.. opps look like my machine is not working for me.. after all these ups and downs..

initial plan was to continue working with my part time job and let the kids be in infantcare and childcare.. but after adam boy attend the infantcare and during the period as family members was caught with flu in the end he was admit to hospital due to viral infection causing him to have fever. as he was less than 3 mths old at that time,, PD mention to send him to hospital if he have temperature. with this situation going on,, worries and unsettle feeling causing me and my hubby to make the decision to let me be a SAHM.. doing a last mins changes leading me not able to service my notice period. and everything just changes after the decision is make..

resign my job,, sep2011

withdrawn from infantcare,, sep2011

withdrawn ariel gal from childcare,, oct2011 and do enrolment to kindergarten that will start on next year 2012, jan.

and having all the PD checkups,, chinese sinseh,, making payment for all the notice given.. emotional,, financially and physically exhausted..

hope that everything will be piece together soon.. adam to get well soon.. ariel to be more displine with diet,, socialise.. i must stay strong and firm.. after stopping the expressing milk since 5 days ago,, i feel abit relief as was restircting myself on some diet.. was not able to control my tea and soft drink as these are the only thing can perk me up and get my life moving during the period of breastfeeding..((bottle feed him with ebm since 2nd mths,, due to intention to send him to infantcare and catch up with taking care of ariel not able to feed on demand..)) hopefully its not cause by my intake that affect the breastmilk content that serve to adam causing him to be so weak and unable to fight all the virus..now that he is unwell,, milk intake was low and can come to the point that feeding was only 40ml per feed and also interval can spread till 7/ 8 hrs.. now he is fully feed on formula- NAN 1 pro.

writing the ups and downs as not able to get to sleep after the nite feeding and also the constant coughing that i can heard from adam boy.. now thinking whether to go PD on 22nov as his med is finish but i do have the same med prescible under ariel’s name.. and he is also due for jab on friday. was thinking to bring him to the chinese sinseh that was recommend by my collegue and let him try out the med and wait to do the checking and review on friday,, if he is fine then proceed to jab.. after checking my acct,, i will follow my intution if the weather permit me to bring the kids out..

looking forward to my next post for good news as festive season is round the corner.. and our 8th year rom anniversary on 22dec..

love angela =)

boon out day2~ my mind is in a mess.. i really dont know wat to do and wat i want from him and wat he expect from me..

i got to get things done, step by step.. No more “scare”, just do it and go for it.. i must beat down the monster “I”..
counting down to my 27th birthday. attain persistence.. stay in track to be a good mummy.

doing balancing in my life.. work(reality), interest(learning), motherhood(responsibilities), love(?)..

haha.. tomolo gonna b a better day. = )

every morning, the scene of ariel crying when she is pass over to the teacher, make me very sad. just hope she get through it soon.. i believe she can do. i got to build up myself,, to be with her soon.. jia you..

a quoted that i m looking at everyday: CHERISH TODAY..

take each day as it comes, life is stressful enough.
dont look back and grieve over the past,
there’s nthing much you can do about it.
dont worry about the future, for it has yet to come.
as long as it is called today, cherish it!
live this day as if it was your last,
and you will find each day worth living for..

love angela

“no contribution is too small.” quoted from nanz chong-komo

enjoy my weekend with my 2 darlings.. love them always.. =)